I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
