her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
