Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
false alarm. still invincible.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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