Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
