So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
