if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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