I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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