Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
