THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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