"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Come see our sink grown plant.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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