my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
