i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
