Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
