I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
