please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize