i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 609 share tweet
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
