You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
