omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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