R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
