Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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