McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
