thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
