HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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