Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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