He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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