You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
