I've blown a few things in my day
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
