She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Four minutes until I can fart!
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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