i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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