O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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