Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
