Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
420 ftw
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
