Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
