we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
