He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'm both gender and math confused
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize