What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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