u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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