some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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