I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
