WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
