I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
