who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
