he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
