i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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