HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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