going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
