Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
