Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
