I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
