but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
