..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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