There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
