We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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