i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
