my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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