My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Randomize
