it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
