Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
