dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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