Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
