Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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