All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
How many fucks given?
0.12846
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
