I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
