if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
smell my finger.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize