He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
