Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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