So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
