I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Randomize
