she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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