i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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