My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I will pee on everything he values.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
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