Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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