My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize
