So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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