Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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