she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Randomize
